The One at Fault
by PikaCheeka
Summary: A Lupin fic! It's the last day of the seventh year, the last night, the last dance, before packing and departing forever...and Lupin realizes that it is a full moon...will he risk it all and stay at the school to be with his friends one last day? Or will


Summary: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! One of those very few HP ficcys by PikaCheeka that's not about a Malfoy!!!! It's about Lupin, everyone's favorite tragic werewolf. OK, I'm done now...It's just after the graduation ceremony, and it's the final dance, the last night [not romance, people], and the next morning is packing and leaving. And Lupin discovers something....

Dedicated to all my good friends out here at fanfiction.net who read everything and review it no matter how demented and screwed up it is. You know who you are, and I thank you. 

Yes, the title is small, it deserves to be.

The One at Fault

By PikaCheeka

"The dance is tonight, from eight to midnight...After that, we're out of here." James said calmly, looking at his calendar.

I didn't answer. I looked down at the floor instead. "It's time for potions..." I mumbled.

He nodded and picked up his books. "Our last Potions class ever again."

I sighed, lifting my head. The dance was tonight. It was the last night I could be with my friends before they all made their way out into the world. One of my friends had already left last year, and I do now know what happened to him. He kind of vanished.

And you know what else is tonight?

Tonight is a full moon.

I can't tell anyone, I don't want to tell anyone. I do not want James, Sirius, and Peter to miss this night, but they will notice I am gone, they will notice the moon. If only I could prevent that. It would be most unfair if I kept them away. I hate that damned moon.

Tomorrow will be havoc, everyone packing and boarding the train. Then, we will all be gone, we will cry, but that is nothing. We will still be gone, maybe forever, for it is a wide world out there. And I am a werewolf, I must travel often, for people begin to suspect, and I then have to move on. I can not even get a job, and my parents? They are dead, to Voldemort. I am alone already, have been for quite some time. But I always had my friends. 

Until now. Twenty hours, then....

I will be entirely alone.

And most of those twenty hours will be spent in the shack, curled up as a werewolf.

Life is cruel.

Potions passed.

Evening came.

As did the moon.

I thought I was safe, for it was cloudy. But even if I did not leave, the moon might suddenly appear and I may attack someone.

I had to go.

The school was in chaos, everyone running around fixing their hair and so on. It was easy to sneak away. But why...why did Dumbledore let this day be the dance?

I knew that didn't matter. Even if the dance was last night, I would still miss this last day to be with my friends who I would most likely never see again.

I ran out into the night, just as the clouds moved slightly to the left, and the moon shone.

I bolted into the Forbidden Forest, letting my wolf brain take over for a moment and search out a cave of some sort. I didn't want to enter the shack, it reminded me too much of my friends.

I know werewolves can't cry, but if they could, I would be.

I know that is childish, but I am beyond caring. I hate this world.

Hate everything about it.

The night is passing by. I closed my eyes tight and curled up as small as I could, wanting to block out everything. I bet James and Lily are together, and Sirius is running around wrecking havoc. I bet Peter is alone in the corner, unable to find anyone to dance with him and trip over his clumsy feet.

Me? What do I matter to them?

For a split second I wished they would come and comfort me. After all, in a short time we would all be gone, separated. I would be wandering the countryside, eating when I could and sleeping when I was safe. 

I just might be able to use magic to contact them, but that doesn't quite cut it.

It's not the same.

Nothing is the same as having friends.

I had never been able to make friends before. Nobody knew what I was, but I was just...unable to. I seemed to think back then that the word 'werewolf' vibrated off of me. Therefore, I avoided other kids, not wanting to be hurt by their cruel mocking tones. Then I came here, and befriended Sirius almost immediately. I must say, the dog fits him perfectly. I have yet to meet such a loyal person. 

And there was James, who had the habit of having no temper, but other than that, he was fine. Lily? Lily read and read and read. Peter? Peter was nice, just a bit absentminded, and, cruel as it may seem, stupid. Then there was Lucius. Lucius was a cold, ingenious, part vampire child with cunning power and the love of hatred. I somehow befriended him, secretly loving the fact that there was someone by far more savage then I. 

That's five friends I made. More than I had ever had in my whole life. More than I ever will have again. Lucius is already gone, he graduated last year and vanished. Nobody knows where he is. Peter has been falling apart lately for reasons unknown. 

And Sirius, James, and Lily?

They don't care, for they aren't coming.

They forgot about Remus, a werewolf wracked by emotional pain.

And so the night passed.

It turned out I had run a lot farther into the wood then thought. For it took me two hours to walk back to the school, and by then it was already 6:30. One hour and a half before we departed our ways for eternity.

The school was silent, no one was awake strangely. 

But I preferred it that way.

I was the first on the train, James the last. 

He came and sat next to me, surprisingly. Lily and Sirius hung back a bit.

"Sorry Remus, we didn't go to you last night. We tried, but we couldn't find you."

But of course, it was my fault for running out into the woods.

My fault.

My loneliness was my fault.

But not just this time, every time.


End file.
